Success Stories, Wins & Testimonials

August  8, 2010,

Auditor: Roy Selby. 
http://community.freezone-tech.info/roy-selby
C/S Pat Krenik, Elma, WA 98541
http://community.freezone-tech.info/elma/

My win was on the OT Drug Rundown was so huge it was like being kicked in the stomach.

It was such a “too good to be true” win that I waited to make sure it was reasonably real before I wrote it up. All the way home from Elma I kept checking and checking, to see if it was still real.

Somehow I went away from my home as one person and returned as a different person. That doesn’t sound like much at first, for some reason. I have all my memories and I know who I am and all these things here are mine, but I left something in Elma that seemed so essential to my nature that I have almost been unable to catch my breath to see myself without it, like if you got kicked in the gut.

Every time I realize it’s really gone, I could weep in gratitude again. If it really is real, there is nothing whatever more important to me on the track. No price could be put on it. I have never thought I’d ever see my own self again but now I really am here with me, someone so beloved to me that I’m still almost afraid to believe it’s really me here with me.

“If this is real,” I told my auditor, “then my life is changed.” At least, I tried to say that to him. I didn’t even want to talk to other people when the win was seedlike; everything was kind of dazed and sharp at the same time. But finally I was back home typing my win, and I am with me. I really am here with me, as odd as that sounds, and I want to just somehow say it right:  That I would rather be with no one else in all the universe than me. But instead I’ve always been stuck with all this other beingness, wondering about myself, but not being able to put a finger on it to say so. And now I’m sitting in my familiar chair realizing I’m still with me and several hours have now passed and I’m still with me.

The other thing I tried to tell my auditor was, “If this is real, then now I can do anything.” And that is too huge, it’s like being kicked in the stomach all over again. The more I explore the win, the greater its magnitude swells, until my actual body can’t tolerate me anymore and I have to move away just to give it a break.

I have considered that as the whole track brought us along, I left “pieces” of me behind on it. The OT III incident was critically important to me to repair but even in total was a relatively small, recent incident of self-loss, for me, compared to the whole track. The great volume of whole track before that, and what may be our fantastic evolution from childhood down into now (in trickles, some of theta is starting to come back out of mest again), this is what I’m interested in as an OT besides art; and while each Scientology level I do brings me back into contact with new old pieces of me, no price can be put on the sheer glut of satisfaction that I feel right now, being here with so much of me, the one being in all the universe that I most want to be with. It is so far beyond self-love that if I haven’t somehow made that clear by now, then I’ve failed to describe the hugeness of my win.

In our infancy, it would never have occurred to any of us to not prefer more than anything else the being of oneself. In my vivid recollection, even the concept of not being oneself didn’t occur on the track for great ages, in my opinion. So for me, I recognize in this win the prints of childhood, our simplicity and beauty, the pursuit of creation for the sake of its quality of communication only, and I especially write this win so that others can also glimpse this exquisite view of Theta with me. Whenever any one of us recovers theta, it’s a win for Theta as a race.

I could never have faced this drug case alone alone, or even actually imagined it. I can’t even recall a time on the recent track where I didn’t have a pop-up message in the middle of my forehead encouraging me toward some drug. The pop-ups have even become tailor-made as I moved up the bridge, if that can be imagined. They became ethical and happy and light, if that can be believed. One way to trick an OT is to hide something right in his plain sight, I guess. Just makes me shudder.

This drug case has been my ruin time out of mind, something I couldn’t even disassociate from because I am responsible, of course, for everything in my area, and did such a thorough III . It just didn’t occur to me you could lose a ruin like this if it was still around at this stage on the bridge. I didn’t dare to hope for it because freedom would be too good to be true. I mean, I’ve already had such huge wins going OT. So I didn’t even go to Elma thinking it would actually handle it. As a thetan I must have been below Ruin on the subject. I’ve been so completely devastated, so cleverly and for so long, that losing this case really was like getting kicked in the gut right on the cans. Just realizing the scope of it and having the understanding start to come in – I still can’t believe the huge part of me that was hidden by the drug case and is now really back with me.

As if that isn’t enough, my purif win of four months ago (which was huge) has been shined up and put right back as if it had never left, which it had, the drug case saw to it. It’s not easy to describe how wonderful a body feels when it’s free of drugs. The ARC I have with this organism is almost unbearable for it, and like I said, I have to keep withdrawing just so it can be comfortable.

It’s a miracle that this tech is available to us in Scientology, right here in small town America . I don’t see how I could be more humbled by LRH’s gift. The purity of that theta for theta makes me feel like we did in our infancy. I simply don’t know of a higher or finer admiration to offer Ron for this win.

And I’m in awe of my auditor, Roy. What a treasure. What an auditor. I can’t even imagine how he does it. I mean, I watched him do it and I still can’t figure out how he does it. The aesthetics in his manner – he’s a magician.

I am deeply humbled by the excellence in Elma, and it’s available to you, too. Every step of the way, Pat has personally C/Sed me with finesse, intuition and affinity. I was a past lifer that the CoS dumped a long time ago, but Pat regarded me completely without fear. Talk about magic. And over the years that I’ve been in the Freezone, both she and Ray have morphed into dear friends to me, holding a most special place in this whole track lifetime I’m having. Elma may really be a magical thing. If you want to know what it was like in the 50s, if you genuinely want to go OT, come to Elma. You can really just be and do here. Come to Elma, and see for yourself.

All the best,

geo

8-10-10